A Crown Too Heavy
Alchemy of Ego's Fall
Hey, cosmic darlings. Let’s talk about Ego, the Drowned King. Ego is the wall: pride, fear, and “I’m right.” It can block many paths and lead to numerous unwanted consequences. That job promotion or the project that is phenomenal but has one thing that disrupts the whole thing—Ego. I’ve seen it too many times in business and group settings. And most don’t realize it, but it has this smell and permeates.
How do you drown the ego? It’s not a simple task, but there are steps to finding balance. First, recognize that the ego is linked to your title, name, and identity. You don’t want to make the mistake of erasing it. The key is to notice when your ego is running the show. It’s not about killing it; the ego is a part of being human. It’s about keeping it in check so that it serves you and not the other way around.
Here are some practical tips to cultivate a healthy balance:
Practice Self-Reflection: Set aside time daily or weekly to check in with yourself. Ask: “Am I acting out of pride or insecurity?” Journaling or quiet contemplation can reveal when your ego is overcompensating or holding you back.
Seek Honest Feedback: Surround yourself with individuals who will provide constructive criticism. Listen without becoming defensive. If you feel your ego rising, acknowledge it and use it as a cue to pause and reflect.
Embrace Humility: Remember that you don’t have all the answers—and that’s okay. Try learning something new as a beginner. It’s a great way to ground yourself and quiet the ego’s need to be “the best.”
Let Go of Comparison: The ego measures itself against others. Focus on your progress instead. When you compare, redirect your attention to what you appreciate.
Serve Others: Engage in selfless acts, volunteer, assist a friend, or listen without needing to be the center of attention. This shifts focus away from the ego’s demands and fosters genuine connections.
Meditate or Breathe: The ego often connects to overthinking or holding onto narratives about who you “should” be. A simple 5 to 10-minute meditation focused on your breath can help you detach from those stories and achieve calm.
Laugh at Yourself: The ego dislikes being poked at, so embrace the moment. When you make a mistake or take yourself too seriously, smile. It’s a quick way to loosen its hold.
Recognize Your Worth (Without Proving It): A balanced ego doesn’t require constant validation. Affirm your value internally, and list the qualities you respect about yourself so you’re less inclined to seek it externally.
If you find yourself overwhelmed, try this: Grab an empty cup. Fill it halfway; name ego’s grip, a boast, a grudge. Tip it slowly, spill it out, five breaths in and five out, and watch it drown. Name what’s free: peace, truth. I spilled “better” and found “enough.” The King’s underwater; what’s holding you?
What is Individuation and Why Does It Matter - Alan Elenbass